Written by Chelsey ” Chello ” Cummings
I was on FaceTime with Tammy and our 5 minute conversation turned into a good one.
We started talking about relationships and how as women we tend to focus on putting
a man first once we find someone who is willing to love us, while we forget about
ourselves and the priorities we must maintain. Man or not. To me here are 5 things
that should be stable before you fully give someone 100% in a relationship:
1. Your Physical
I know, “what does my physical have to do with anything”? Surprisingly a lot.
Physical could mean your health, your weight, anything. Look at yourself in the
mirror? Are you happy with what you see? In case you’re wondering, no. Those stretch
marks don’t count and neither does that birth mark. Being healthy and secure in your
body is a beautiful thing. As women we like to be complimented in the simplest ways
about our body. If we don’t love what we see, there’s no man alive that can make us
accept or believe that “I love you and all your curves” is real. At least for me
lol. Workout, change your diet a little, maybe drink more water and take vitamins.
Build the body you want and love it.
2. Your spiritual
Being a child of God is “of exxxtremeeee importance” (Alicia Keys voice) but
seriously. Anything that you do, relationships, work, family, happiness, anything,
God should be the foundation. Going to church does not mean that you are secure on a
spiritual level. What I’m referring to is having a personal relationship with God.
Praising him through the good times and even in the bad. Tithing. Praying and
remaining faithful. Build that relationship and allow everything else to follow.
3. Your mental
Mental instability is a serious pain in the ass. Forgive me, but it seriously is.
Have you ever been so angry to the point where you were literally burning up
inside? Or have you ever been so hurt that you literally feel like you can’t go on
anymore? Learn to expect before what is expected comes. Prepare yourself for
4. Your Emotions.
Everything doesn’t deserve a tear. Everything doesn’t deserve a reaction. Everything
doesn’t deserve a response. Learn what to give your attention to and allow your
heart to decide what to give your emotions to. Hurt only enters a door you open on
your own. Learn which doors to open and which ones to close.
5. Your Finances
Being financially stable is also important. You should have a steady job, notice I
didn’t say career, everyone isn’t in their designated career field and that’s
respected. Having a steady job prevents a lot of stress. We’re able to supply
ourselves with things that we want as well as taking care of our priorities and the
things we need to build a stable lifestyle for ourselves.
Please understand that I’m not telling you that all these things need to be perfect
before you get into a relationship. What I’m saying is, the majority of the time
when you try to give someone 100% and you’re only secure in yourself 15%, things may
not work out. Be secure. Build a stable enough life to where if you were to add
someone to it, you’d still be able to give them the attention and time they deserve.
Trying to juggle someone and balance your life is already hard, secure yourself
before securing someone else.